Originally posted on The Family Greenhouse on November 1, 2014 by Abigail Doust


Some of us think we are pretty simple, while others of us know we are a complicated mess. The truth is that we are all complicated, complex people. One of the ways to break this down is to look at 3 contributing factors that make you who you are.

  1. Personality

This is your wiring, or how you were created. This isn’t easily changed and includes how how we respond to situations and how we process information and emotions. The SCOPE Personality Profile rates in a scale for each of 5-factors:  Social (extrovert to introvert), Change (looking for  change to resisting it), Organized (high to low conscientiousness toward a goal), Pleasing (from highly trying to please people to not at all), and Emotionally Steady (from very steady to wearing your emotions on your sleeve).

  1. Family of Origin

The family you grew up in, the good and the bad, has a huge influence on who you are today. From small things like how you fold your towels to bigger things like how you celebrate holidays, your childhood trumps. Your default position is to either do it the way your family did (because it is what you know) or do it differently than your family (because you didn’t like it).  Either way, the drive comes from your family.

  1. Life Experience

Even outside of your family you have experienced life. And the way you have experienced life has impacted you– what you learned at work about working hard (or kissing up to the right people), whether to trust your neighbors (or call the police for their bad behavior), and how to handle your finances are just a few topics you are likely to have an opinion on. The hardest thing about your life experience is that you don’t even think about it. It’s just your life! You didn’t realize how it was shaping your decisions.

Apply it to Your Spouse/Fiancé

As if it wasn’t enough to have all of this at play inside of you, all 3 components are blending to make your fiancé or spouse who THEY are.  Read over each of these again but have your loved one in mind.  What topics could you talk about to understand each other better? No topic is too small. Let us know how the conversation impacts you!

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